The Family Revised: The Other Side of Ministry

Simply Revised is happy to introduce Brenda, wife of Steve and homeschool mom to their 3 daughters. Brenda will be blogging here at Simply Revised and we are looking forward to hearing from her!

For the first nearly 20 years of our marriage I did not wear the title "preacher's wife" or "minister's wife." I wore many other titles: Mrs. Ellis (when I was a teacher in public school), Mom, Aunt Brenda, and once a year, "Steve's wife." My husband went to work every day and for the first half of our marriage, so did I. Since my husband and I grew up together, we mostly knew the same people. Our wedding invitations pretty much went out to his family, my family, and OUR friends. There wasn't much separation.

But every year there was a big Christmas party for his job. It was fancy. It was important. And on that night, I was simply, "Steve's wife." These were people my husband knew quite well who did not know me. My identity was different on that night around those people. I felt like a different person. I wasn't Brenda, I was Steve's wife. Can you appreciate the difference?

When my husband first began preaching, I was excited for him. He had always wanted to preach and now he was getting that chance! Cool! It took just a little while before I began to realize how this affected me. Suddenly I realized we weren't just SteveandBrenda.....we were the preacher and the preacher's wife.

This was a new identity for me. I was suddenly very aware of how my children behaved in church. When there is a visitor, I am very aware of my body language. Was I just crossing my arms during church? I don't want them to think I'm mad or bored! Did I smile enough? Oh, there are other things as well. Being the "preacher's wife" has been a new identity. One that I would have told you years ago was no different than anyone else.

And in many ways that is true! We may be a ministry family, but I think it would be more accurate to say we are a family in ministry. The family part came first. The family (hopefully) is still the important part. We get flat tires, have too much laundry piled up, we pay bills, our children don't always listen. That is a family. But the ministry part? THAT has been a revision for sure.

Many, many years ago, when we were young parents of only 2 little girls, I began to notice that our family didn't look much different than other families--except where we were at 10 am on Sundays. And I thought that probably shouldn't be the case. So I began praying for God to change our family to the way He wanted us to be. And that is why the title says THE FAMILY REVISED. God has made many, many revisions to our family over the years.

And this preacher's wife....otherwise known as Brenda...would like to share with you about it all.

bio: In addition to homeschooling for the past 13 years, and raising three daughters, Brenda also writes for simplyRevised and her own blog,Busy at Home, where she shares homeschooling help with others. She has been married to Steve for the past twenty-seven years.